Original Air date: November 18, 2021
Caption: Jacob neglects Matt this holiday season. Matt attends a hockey game. Paul cheats to get his PA license. Scoop Mail and Jock Vs. Nerd.
Running time: 1:41
Recording location: The Churn Version 7 and Paul's Playhouse.
For the first time Jacob reads the Ice Cream Truck Driver names before the intro theme for the podcast.
Jacob talks about being accidentally rude to Matt because he left him out of the signed David Copperfield book advertisement. Matt admits that he has never seen Copperfield's show. Paul does an impression of Piff making Matt go to the Copperfield how. Matt lists all the other magic shows that he hasn't seen in Vegas.
Jacob talks about how Chris Angel has the accolade on TV shows of "World's Most Successful Magician." Matt calls for suggestions on what accolade they should make up for the podcast. Paul suggests "Best Car Wash Podcast."
Matt talks about going to the Foley Golden Knights (of Las Vegas) game and all the silliness therein. This includes yelling the word "night" in the national anthem, calling the arena "the fortress," and using showgirls to distract the opposing team during warmups.
Paul has an opinion on the attractiveness of the kicker for the Ford Lions (of Detroit).
Jacob talks about a show in Vegas that is adding a Marilyn Manson version of the Eurhythmics song Sweet Dreams. Matt recalls that last episode, Paul called Manson a "newborn Christian."
The hosts punch up the smack talk about the Dundon Hurricanes (of Carolina). Paul and Jacob describe a Hurricane lamp to Matt.
Matt continues to describe the hockey game with the Golden Knight mascot banging a sword and shield together to start chanting. There was a good MGM trivia bit for Spiderman.
A Fake Commercial for Wrinkle-Free Horse Pants made by horses for horses of horses.
The hosts talk about the recent animation of Paul's 9-minute monkey firefighter joke. Brogan Hastings has posted an in-progress work file on his twitter (@7BillionNeedles) for scoops to suggest new animatic ideas.
Paul talks about getting a Pennsylvania drivers license. He also talks about the results of going to a doctor and taking more steps to deal with his bursitis including turmeric, sleeping on a not hurting side, and using a cane at home. Paul also expresses a conspiracy theory about shampoo for adults vs. children.
Paul finds out how much work it is to have special snow tires.
A Fake Commercial for Own Your Own Dick and Tit Farm.
Matt talks about the podcast he listened to about prohibition. When that happened in the US, the average male was drinking 91 liters per year. Paul states that that was the time when we put liquor on cereal and Matt and Jacob call him on this bullshit and he says "but I gotta imagine."
Jacob states that they would never put Paul's monkey joke on a Tapestry. Paul suggest that they become the #1 Tapestry Podcast.
Jacob promises that if you win the best podcast at Scoopfest, Paul will blow you.
- Goof Scoop sends in some weird sex stories with a table of Cuntents.
- The Not-So-Swiftest-Scoop in the West writes in and lets the hosts know that they are now their husbands and a story about setting a kitchen on fire.
- Angry Goose Scoop recalls a Piff rant about a card fountain and talks about how he has come up with a way to do it.
- His Name is Scoop sends in a Blowjob story about a Houston Road Head and an angry girlfriend getting him out of a ticket.
Jock vs. Nerd
The explosions theme is played. The Cincy Scoop sends in a Scoopardy themed around 1959.
Characters and Bits
- David Copperfield is a Witch Mummy
- Witch Mummy, bam-a-lam
- A Mashup of Night Moves and the National Anthem
- Stage 4 HurriCancer
- Chanting "Thoughts and Prayers" for someone that you want to die of cancer
- Infant Casket for my Unborn Child
- Sour Mash Cheddar
- Imagining Vaginal Yogurt instead of porn
- Paul suggest using Oreo bits in cunnilingus