Matt and Mattingly's Ice Cream Social Wikia

Art by Slakingfool

Editorial Note: The posted title for this podcast was 831: "Where is Paul"!? but punctuation makes for crappy URL's. Original Air date: September 30th, 2021

Caption: Paul is all settled in Pittsburgh and one Las Vegas celebrity is not happy about it. Scoop mail and Jock Vs. Nerd Trivia.

Running time: 1:41

Recording location: The Churn Version 7 and Paul's house.


Paul remembers a movie about where a QB just comes up and starts playing for a team and Matt describes it as Captain Phillips. Jacob guesses Air Bud. They fail to come up with the name of the movie Invincible.

The hosts talk about Nic Cage taking Paul's move to Pittsburg hard by eating a large meal at Lawry's yelling "Where's Paul!?" (Episode title reference). Paul does an impersonation. The hosts note that the strip clubs are located on Industrial Ave.

Paul sings the Jack Sprat nursery rhyme, Matt and Jacob are unfamiliar with it.

Jacob tells a story of encountering Cage and seeing his car shake like they were in flagrante delicto.

A fake commercial for Audio Guy Jacob's Fart Machine.

Paul talks about mowing his lawn with an electric lawnmower. It took him 2 hours. Matt talks about mowing his very small yard. Jacob recalls mowing his mother's yard around a lot of root knees. The hosts wonder if dog and human shit is compostable.

The hosts talk about their roles as the "return it" or "throw it away" person in their relationships. They also talk about how much ground/floor money is ok to take for yourself vs what you need to turn into security. Jacob found a $500 push sports gambling ticket. Jacob's line is $20; Matt's line is $5; Paul doesn't have a line since he worked at Ceasar's.

A fake commercial for Sally's House of Suicidal Salamanders.

Jacob congratulates a possible listener that won a Tony for Sound Design. "Tony award-winning listeners" should be added to the accolades for the podcast.

The hosts talk about how Paul will decorate his room. Paul has difficulty putting on his right sock.


  • WB sends in a story about cancelling a visit to a friend based on his own COVID precautions.

(There is a slight desync between Paul and the churn)

  • Mock Turtle Scoop asks about trying to blend in based on a baseball hat. Matt recommends a Brooklyn Nets hat. Paul recommends his Copa de Diversion Las Vegas Minor League baseball hat.

Jock vs. Nerd[]

The hunt for balls theme is played. ProtoScoop sends in a Swedish-themed Scoopardy.

Characters and Bits[]

  • Jon Travolta wearing a Nic Cage mask talking to Mr. Kotter
  • Tesla is the most expensive fart machine.
  • Matt fails to recall what a salamander is.
  • "Fuck the gays, I like me some mediocre chicken" - Matt
  • I'm not a hospital guy.

The hosts call for more scoopmails of Worst Coworker Stories, Shitty Job Story, and Italian Air Shows.