Original Air date: September 13th, 2021
Caption: Only the magic of David Helicopterfield can derail a heart felt goodbye from Piff the Magic Dragon to Paul Mattingly. Paul asks Piff what goes into making a magic trick. Also Scoop Mail has a Touch Ball Tuesday story for you. Jock Vs Nerd- Price is Right style.
Running time: 1:39
Recording location: The Churn version 7
Paul talks about the podcasts that he has been listening to: My brother, my brother, and me; How did this get Made?; Proopcast; Great Night.
Piff grills Paul on his process and frequency of taking his dogs out of the apartment.
Paul worries about the supply chain for Scoopfest tshirts. Paul talks about closing on the Pittsburg house and thinking about the dogs shitting in that house.
Paul has a theory that there are more helicopters over the Strip detecting radiation. He has no proof or sources for this information. The What has Paul Mattingly been watching? jingle is played. The other hosts try to make sense of this theory.
Matt and Piff talk about an idea where David Copperfield wanted to change the tone of his voice and have that be inaudible to the audience. Paul does a bit of this where his voice was in falsetto when he was talking to the tech crew. Matt connects that it is actually Copperfield that is in the helicopter.
A Fake Commercial for Dissolve-a-note: instant biodegrading paper.
Paul reminisces about the Dreamcast and his first vacation. The hosts talk about the burial service of throcean.
Paul asks what made Piff get into magic if it wasn't Claudia Schiffer dating David Copperfield. Piff talks about a gelatin trick that didn"t work for two weeks.
Paul evolves the idea of David Helicopterfield. They make an Air Wolf reference and go off on that tangent. Matt sings the lyrics to the Air Wolf theme. Piff posits that the helicopter was actually being piloted by wolves where they eat bunches of grandmas on helicopter tours.
A fake commercial for Paul Mattingly's 12-video tape course on beating a dead horse.
Piff talks about how his current show is going. He talks about using Marie Osmond's old dressing room and steam shower.
The hosts talk about getting a new washer and dryer and how an AI-guided washing machine would work. Paul's bit of the AI-guided dryer requires that you place currency in his mouth to get the clothes out (episode title reference).
The hosts recall an incorrect payout on a sports betting app. Mitzula is in studio and explains how the system works after Jacob describes the scenario.
- Scoop There it is sends in a story about being lifted by their balls.
- Pittsburg Scoop Malia sends in a cautionary tale about using the Japanese-style bidet.
- Some Scoop Name talks about an IHOP that had talapia on the menu.
- Croc-a-dunk Scoop proposes a new topic for scoopmail of Am I the Asshole? about him catfishing a coworker.
Jock vs. Nerd
The hunt for balls theme is played. Scoops Monkey Trial sends in a Price-is-right style game for the audience ratings of some movies.
Characters and Bits
- "Now even meatier" - the new tag for the podcast
- Two Dogs one Pup - when one dog is eating the shit as the first dog is eliminating it.
- David Helicopterfield - a Thomas the Tank character that is a Helicopter magician.
- Stain and Stinks - original name for Matt and Mattingly
- Paul requires his AI devices to have a humanoid face to interact with.
- Piff dislikes fancy bidets as they seem too eager to be pooped in.
- In a Production Meeting they determine that the Am I the Asshole? stories can continue as long as they don't have to vote.