Original Air date: May 3rd, 2021
Caption: Happy Birthday Anne! Jacob recalls working for a shady hypnotist. Scoop mail, Jock Vs. Nerd See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Running time: 1:35
Recording location: The Churn version 7
Matt announces that today is Anne's birthday. Paul got her an Edible arrangement. The hosts talk about edible underwear being fruit rollups. Jacob has had several edible underwear experiences and shares his knowledge.
Paul reports on an adult superstore that has patriotic murals all over the building. The hosts recall the regular occurrence of patriotic material in old porn videos.
The host discuss the national supplies of helium and hydrogen and the difference in supplies.
Paul also got Anne a charcuterie board from a store called Cured and Whey. The hosts try to come up with better names:
- Curds and Wine
- Pepperomeo and Julian Fries
- Say Cheese
- This smells like a Horses Ass
- Our Meats and Cheeses are board
- Horse Blanket = Home
- Meat Board and Savory - Cheesus Christ
A Fake Commercial for Rusty’s Discount Eye Surgery.
Jacob tells a story about working for a Hypnotist that gave a free show and the hosted a seminar the next morning. He bragged about using hypnotism on his wife’s pregnancy to block pain and to help her achieve orgasm.
A Fake Commercial for Andy’s Plumbing and Sports (Archery).
The hosts talk about Jacob’s resume. Paul describes his new haircut that was done by his wife’s hairdresser.
Matt and Paul preview their appearance on an upcoming episode of The Alarmist and let it be known that they portrayed two of the pilots as Mario and Luigi Mario. This bit may have been cut. They talk about the production methods on their podcast and their use of underscore (Paul chimes in with Edible Underscore).
Paul reports on a Buddy Hacket joke that is a version of the 3-legged chicken joke but has a kicking competition tag on the end. Jacob tells a short tangential relationship joke. Matt tells a long new Podcaster in a Texas town joke. Paul tells the “Got any Grapes” joke.
- Third Sexist Scoop talks about their brother giving up Dead Baby jokes.
- Keep On Scoopin sends in a story about their job.
Jock vs. Nerd
The explosion theme is played. There was a technical issue with the system so the hosts make up a quiz on the spot. Matt talks about asking about anonymous High School sports records as a question about Trans rights. Paul tells a joke about a sick coach for the championship.
Characters and Bits
- A belly chain of nerds rope.
- Just have pie and fuck
- Nest-ly plunge - chocolate in a vulva
- Ms. Jackson if you’re Nest-ly (episode title reference)
- Stealing Dildos to build a hut with dildo Rebar
- Pants Ankled Manor instead of the Star-Spangled Banner
- Cracked my Spine like a Harry Potter. Just open it up and read some Snape.
- Little Fig Bits - you don’t know what I got
- Cosby explains the Fig fertilization process
- We Wish You a Merry Christmas - but it’s about eating wasps
- Come While you Birth - the Nirvana cover