Episode art by twitter user Slakingfool.
Original Air date: August 20th, 2020
Caption: Matt is an idiot... twice. Scoop Mail and Jock vs Nerd
Running time: 1:45
Recording location: The Churn version 7
Paul nearly forgets the out-of-context bits and tells a story about pants shitting and candy bar trying.
Paul promotes eating of poop for medical treatment. Matt and Jacob push back on this. Matt recalls that the reason we thing poop smells bad is so that we don't eat it. Paul proposes that we are just soft-serve machines (Episode title reference).
The hosts talk about the ridiculousness of the MyPillow guy and his medical recommendations.
The hosts talk about the religious aspects of the pandemic and Paul's arguments with his religious parents.
Jacob talks about planning to go to a Vegas march and his reaction to an anti-masker.
Matt tells the story of a Radiolab story where a person that gets a ringworm and loses his asthma. He then talks about trying to purchase similar ringworms. Paul tries to figure out how much he charged using Kentucky Math.
A Fake Commercial for the poop market.
Matt tells a story about how he tried to bury chicken bones in a friend's back yard for a cleansing ritual. This person had dogs.
A Fake Commercial for Ceremonial Sword and Helmet for Cock fights (not chicken).
Matt talks about the homeless person that broke into a stadium and lived off of the supplies contained within. Paul once spent $26 dollars for his wife and himself at Sonic.
Paul talks about thinking about getting his hair cut.
- XGD Falcon sent in a story about playing league floor hockey and going to Denny's and pulling off a Bugs Bunny argument maneuver.
- Arthur Two Quarantines Jackson sends in a story about having a pudding faux pas.
- Pinon Coffee Scoop sent in an idea about spaghetti sliders.
- Spawn asks whether they would rather have a dick for a nose or balls on your chin.
Jock vs. Nerd
The hunt for balls theme is played. Agent X sends in a 16-minute video.
Characters and Bits
- The Blood of the Young is what greases the gears of the Catholic Machine.
- Ribenent Domain - burying bones as the ultimate dibs rule for property.
- Vats of Thick Liquids - original name for Matt and Mattingly
- Paul desires a gelatinous gravy.
- Fleshlights are not dishwasher safe.