Episode art by twitter user @slakingfool
Original Air date: January 20th, 2020
Caption: Butt slapping sports stories and more!
Running time: 1:31
Recording location: The Churn version 7
Matt brings up another NFL Player. Paul learns that the Ravens used to be the Browns but the name came back. He things team names should change regularly. Jacob knows that the team was named after the coach.
The topic turns to Pelicans and creatures that fight for their lift in a Pelican's black, elastic pouch (Episode Title Reference).
Matt brings it back to Odell Beckham who was handing out cash to the players of LSU after their most recent win. He also nearly got in trouble for slapping a player on the butt. Paul tells a story about a UK player hitting him on the ass with a hand full of keys.
They also talk about basketball players where one slapped the other on the ass and they had a fight. Both players were kicked out of the game.
A Fake Commercial with a Pirate spokesperson that can't get the lines right.
Jacob learned that the human asshole can stretch to 7 inches and a racooon can fit into a hole as smal as 7 inches.
The hosts detail the dates and the plans for Scoopfest 2020: Scoopageddon. ASC0C11 (Zero). This will include a bucket show on Nov. 4th.
Cutting an umbilical cord is like the opening of a grocery store.
A Fake Commercial for STD Prevention by the same forgetful pirate.
Matt asks Paul about one-person board games. He had never heard of the concept. Pauls is reading the Wanderers by Chuck Wendig. Matt is reading A Gentlemen in Moscow. Paul reccommends playing Sorry solo and just playing all the parts.
- Scoop Nurse sends in a Taco Bell hospital story about a surgeon setting fire to a patient.
- Logan sends in a question about how long it would take to notice losing the ability to sneeze.
- Desmond sends in a creepy story.
- When Dumb Scoop asks about Matt's engagement story. They report an engagement story of their own that involves Matt.
- There are guests in the studio and they tell their engagement story.
Jock vs. Nerd
The explosion theme is played. A Scoopardy from Vegan God.
Characters and Bits
- Your Dad is a brown
- Baseball as a sport created only to slap asses
- Slap a butt with a Hepatitis ring
- Butt Warden guarding the Butt Jail
- The human anus is called Paul Brown
- Regular news just like gravy. The opposite of breaking news.
- Matt retells the story about the "toot, toot butthole" note.
- Paul has a regular news moment about a Ben Folds Five reunion.
- Two dogs giving saying their vows to eachother.
- Ben Folds Paulina Malort is to be the child's name.
- Sarasota Float a Dong the baby
- Fart Burger they baby